Hope everyone had a great Tuesday.
So, yesterday I mentioned that October 1st was marking a new healthy focus for me.
I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again…especially for any readers who are going through a break-up and are wondering when they’ll feel whole again (you’re NOT alone!!)…
Breaking up is hard. SO hard. Going into it you know it will be hard, but you don’t know that there will be days, for months on end, where simply getting out of bed feels like running a marathon.
I am also learning that there are phases, and you just have to keep riding them out, because with a each new phase becomes new growth, new healing, and new self-discovery.
Spring, I was numb. I didn’t feel much, it was all too surreal and new. I was just going through the motions, and it was almost an out-of-body experience. I wondered why it felt so “easy”, friends and family wondered how I was doing so well. Well, in hindsight I now know that I was in shock and I was numb.
Summer, I completely fell apart. From about mid-May (which I guess is still Spring, but yanno) all the way until Labor Day, when I took my mental health day, I felt like I was completely broken. Completely broken.
Like, I would never pick up the pieces or feel whole again. Ever.
I used the only energy I could muster, simply to try to “be normal” at work, so that at least I could hold on to my job.
But there were many, many mornings where I thought to myself: “What am I doing?? I can’t hack this-this living in a huge, distant, intimidating city where I am alone. Alone, alone, alone. Trying to make it in a fast-paced and often stressful industry?? I can’t do this. Who am I kidding.”
Every day was a struggle. Every.Single.Day felt like the biggest challenge in the world, just to make it from the time I woke up in the morning, to the time I went to bed at night.
But I kept going.
Because deep down I know that I do want to be here. I’m creating a life I want. It’s a life of my own, not something that’s dictated by school, friends, even family.
I am following my heart and my instinct.
Plus, sometimes, all you can do is tell yourself that things will get better. Things will get easier, no matter what it is that you’re going through.
Then, one day, I woke up, and it wasn’t quite so hard to get out of bed.
It wasn’t quite so hard to come home alone.
Or fall asleep alone.
Or wake up alone.
Or have no plans on the evenings and weekends.
One morning I woke up and realized, “huh, I’m kind of excited to sprawl out alone on my bed, take up the whole thing, and have no plans or obligations. I’m kind of excited to go to bed when I want to, wake up when I want to.”
I felt the same the next day.
And the day after that.
Now, it’s been a full month of those *easier* days, long enough I know it is not a fluke, simply a “good day”, and I feel like I am now in a new phase, a phase where I am piecing myself back together.
I am no longer broken into a million little pieces.
I no longer have no idea what I enjoy, what makes me happy, and what I do in my free time.
I am remembering things I used to love that I would do and enjoy just because I love them and they make me feel fulfilled, happy, and purposeful.
I am finding new things I enjoy.
One thing that came rushing back full force the past month?
My love, genuine love and passion, for healthy living.
Yes, I still love beer and wings and staying out til the bars close at 4:00 AM… buuuuut, I remembered that I genuinely love healthy food. Eating it, preparing it, telling other people all about it, reading articles about it, completely geeking out over it…
The Philly Half-Marathon further solidified those feelings, and so did the injury to my foot…which made me realize I shouldn’t take my body for granted so much and should take care of it better.
As soon as I was excited to start really focusing on healthy living, since that is ME after all, I didn’t even think twice about what I wanted to focus on: Gluten Free.
I did a very short GF trial back in March… but life happened 11 days in.
However, I did feel amazing after just 2 days in, and that alone made this decision a no-brainer for me.
And not only is there a ton of literature on it, it’s so compelling that I knew I wanted to try it again, to let my body reset.
Here is the article that originally got me GF last March.
So, what better day to start than a Monday?
Especially if that Monday also happens to be a new month.
So, yesterday, I was finally able to make it to the grocery store since my foot drastically improved all the sudden, and starting with breakfast Monday morning, I have so far had two very successful GF days.
With a small handful of these:
Groceries to get me through the week: sweet potatoes, ‘cados, Brussels sprouts, plain yogurt, bananas, almonds, eggs, carrots, kidney beans, pinto beans, sunflower seed butter, frozen berries, jalapeno hummus, unsweetened coconut/almond milk:
When I got home last night I got to work on roasting two of my sweet taters and the Brussels sprouts.
After you rinse them, cut off the stems:
Toss in a bowl with olive oil, fresh ground pepper and salt:
I had a red onion I needed to use, plus onions are super healthy, so I added the onion as well as 3 minced garlic cloves for extra flava and nutrients (garlic is thought to be a great anti-cancer and anti-microbial food!).
Out of the oven! (400 degrees for about 45 mins)
1/3 of the huge sweet potato and some roasted Brussels (also 400 degrees-until tender and as crispy as you like ~40 mins):
I topped the tater with almond butter and sea salt. Glory! And enjoyed a glass of Pinot Noir, because, why the hell not?
Breakfast this morning included these:
On top of this:
I also added a small handful of pecans and almonds for more protein, crunch, and healthy fats.
For lunch I brought a piece of sweet tater, and a whole avocado and a few carrots, which I topped with fresh ground pepper and salt, and brought a container of jalapeno hummus for dipping.
Dinner tonight: Brussels sprouts topped with 2 fried eggs. And viiiino.
The dippy yolk makes a rich sauce on top of the roasted veggies. So good and so healthy!
It feels really good to take control of my own health, my own life, and what matters to me (healthy, balanced living!), but it feels really good to want to do it for the first time in a reallyyyyy long time. As opposed to feeling like I *have* to.
Any one else want to do a Fall Shape-Up with me? I can’t wait to start working out (for fun!) once my foot is one-hundo.
Fall is such a great time to start making new habits, that, if you stick with it until the end of the year, will already be solidified by the time you ring in the new year.
I plan on keeping on this eating plan throughout October and seeing how I feel once the month is over.
As you can tell from me having A glass of wine with dinner so far, I obviously didn’t give up alcohol. I do not plan on going out during the week at all during this month (which had become a habit :/ ), but I just like wine and beer too much to give it up completely, and I do think it can be part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Plus, this city is pretty saturated with it when it comes to being social.
But it works out, because what I’m doing right now? It’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle. It’s learning to respect myself and love myself and treat myself well, treat myself as if I am perishable (because I am!!).
It’s about taking time to remember what I enjoy doing and what makes me feel whole.
I’ve recruited 3 other people so far to join me in this month of healthy focus, so if anyone else wants to join in on the fun, please do!
Have a great night!